As I stood in my balcony today, looking beyond the beautiful city, shivering due to the harsh winter winds and drowning in awe of the handwork of God, one thing came to mind! what was God thinking that he made everything so beautiful and made the human heart full of hate. Less than a second later, the Evangelic church bell rang bringing me to the realization that it was already 9 pm and the 9th day of January. Wow, the year has just began and is almost ended, I will be a year older this year, which dream is yet to be fulfilled? which aspiration is yet to be met? which life is yet to be touched? so many things to do and life goes really quick.
I remembered the ranting of a depressed woman, ‘ I’m 58 years old. I’ll be 59 in 2015. And what I learned in 2014, is that life goes by really quick. And yet at the same time, I feel as if I’m only just beginning to understand my life now. Over half a century of living on the planet, doing what other people wanted me to do, saying what other people wanted me to say: being a good daughter, a good wife, a good mother, a good employer, a good citizen. I don’t regret being good at those things. But I am so much more than that. I live alone now. I am divorced, I have two grown children, one of whom I see regularly, the other whom I don’t see at all. And in the quiet of my single life now, I am beginning to discover who these 58 years of life belong to. They belong to me. Each and every experience, each and every heartache and joy, they have made me who I am. And while my life is not perfect — no ones is — I am about to embark on a journey of self discovery and goals reached and this time, the words that I speak and the things that I do will be for no one but me, because I choose them’.
After the ‘ranting’, I noticed a smile the kind of smile that reflects memories, I was deep in thought she had finally become anew, ‘born again’ and accepted, to be new again. Have you uncovered who actually you are, are you walking in some other person’s shadow? take two steps backward, picture yourself taking two steps forward again, will you still step in your footprints? if NO, then you need to build your image to be proud of yourself at the end of the day. Nobody should take the glory on behalf of you, you are worthy of it.
What am I still doing on the balcony? am already frozen, and it hits me, a frozen position keeps you static, you must change places to bring out the best in you. I hug myself and said to myself, this valuable lesson learnt today should not remain on the balcony but use it as a navigation to get to a fruitful destination in December. I just discovered I had created a road map to December. Do you concur with me?