learn how to envy yourself




(_)•̸•̸churchill•̸•̸I had made up my mind to keep myself ‘pure’ till my final year in the University. I wanted to be focused, read and gain the admiration of all especially my parents. In all I set out to do, I could not avoid the stares of one of the most handsome boy in the class. Beautiful is an understatement. He was the dream man for any normal girl, average height, sculpted body build, and an unruffled appearance. He had eyes that could say more than words and lips that screamed ‘kiss me if you want to’. Those same eyes are staring at me now, unraveling my innermost private parts, begging me to be his girl. What should I do?.

Last week I was called upon to take part in a political meeting mostly because my classmates considered me intelligent enough to make good suggestions. While in the meeting, I took over the show, narrating the pros and cons of why the Faculty must not be run by the lecturers but the students, little did I know that someone was more than impressed with my verbal power. After the meeting, a guy walked to me and said ‘wow, am impressed, you are a definition of 10 women in one’. I walked away after nearly passing away from looking at the most incredible eyes I had ever seen. I was sweating already in Harmattan, ‘what is happening to me?’. Yes, it is those same eyes that are staring at me now. ‘Should I give him a chance? will I lose my focus? would I break a promise to myself? God help me, I am in a fix’. I knew it, Love was in the air, the first man who made my heart beat faster.

I am talking to you long Lady, what is your name? the Lecturer’s voice roared in my subconscious mind. ‘Sorry Sir’ I said, ‘Sorry for yourself’ he responded. I quickly said ‘my name is Feintola’, and turned around to stare at the person who was capable of making me lose concentration in class. Lo and behold, he was not in the class. I had started day dreamin

Nuru was the most loving guy, with his meager pocket-money he will buy me lunch and cook indomie noodles for me, he cherished me, he worshipped me, he was my dream man, I loved him too. It was love made in heaven, we were meant for each other, we did naughty things together, laughed at the flaws of others, go out for a date just to gossip about others, and his laughter constantly reminds me of him untill I received a phone call…



bildTwenty years ago, when the world convened a landmark conference on women’s human rights, the devastating conflict in the former Yugoslavia prompted deserved attention to rape and other war crimes there against civilians. Two decades later, with girls as young as seven not only targeted but used as weapons by violent extremists, it would be easy to lose heart about the value of international gatherings. But while we have a long way to go to achieve full equality – with ending gender-based violence a central goal – progress over the past two decades has proven the enduring value of the 1995 Beijing Conference on Women.

Since the adoption of its Declaration and Platform for Action, more girls have attained more access to more education than ever before. The number of women dying in childbirth has been almost halved. More women are leading businesses, governments and global organizations.  I welcome these advances. At the same time, on this International Women’s Day, we must acknowledge that the gains have been too slow and uneven, and that we must do far more to accelerate progress everywhere.

The world must come together in response to the targeting of women and girls by violent extremists.  From Nigeria and Somalia to Syria and Iraq, the bodies of women have been transformed into battlegrounds for warriors carrying out specific and systematic strategies, often on the basis of ethnicity or religion.  Women have been attacked for trying to exercise their right to education and basic services; they have been raped and turned into sex slaves; they have been given as prizes to fighters, or traded among extremist groups in trafficking networks. Doctors, nurses and others have been assassinated for trying to operate in their professional capacity. The women human rights defenders brave enough to challenge such atrocities risk – and sometimes lose – their lives for the cause.

We must take a clear global stance against this total assault on women’s human rights. The international community needs to translate its outrage into meaningful action, including humanitarian aid, psycho-social services, support for livelihoods, and efforts to bring perpetrators to justice.  With women and girls often the first targets of attack, their rights must be at the centre of our strategy to address this staggering and growing challenge.  Empowered women and girls are the best hope for sustainable development following conflict. They are the best drivers of growth, the best hope for reconciliation, and the best buffer against radicalization of youth and the repetition of cycles of violence.

Even in societies at peace, too many girls and women are still targets of domestic abuse, female genital mutilation and other forms of violence that traumatize individuals and damage whole societies.  Discrimination remains a thick barrier that must be shattered. We need to expand opportunities in politics, business and beyond.  We need to change mind-sets, especially among men, and engage men in becoming active change-agents themselves.  And we must back up our resolve with resources based on the sure understanding that investments in gender equality generate economic progress, social and political inclusion and other benefits that, in turn, foster stability and human dignity.

This is a vital year for advancing the cause of women’s human rights.  The international community is hard at work on establishing a new sustainable development agenda that will build on the Millennium Development Goals and shape policies and social investments for the next generation.  To be truly transformative, the post-2015 development agenda must prioritize women’s empowerment.  The world will never realize 100 per cent of its goals if 50 per cent of its people cannot realize their full potential.  When we unleash the power of women, we can secure the future for all.


In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Fireside Chat.”

What person whom you don’t know very well in real life — it could be a blogger whose writing you enjoy, a friend you just recently made, etc. — would you like to have over for a long chat in which they tell you their life story.

Writing this post got me thinking. ‘is there anyone I would really love to have a chat with?’, it hit me, for the long months I offered a German Language Course, I had longed for nothing but to have a long chat with my teacher. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity. You might be surprised, why the longing. I wore a flowing gown on the Monday I won’t forget in a hurry, standing before 33 people from different nationalities, the black, dark, white, red, orange-yellow and green skin colours were all humbly represented. ‘Where do I start from’? I took the best bet and sat at the far end of the classroom, there I can feed my eyes and notice anything unusual – it was the best idea.

Continue reading “THERE IS MORE TO YOU”


LighthouseWhen all is not well, we blame other forces. The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse. Why is your house this dirty, ‘my dear, you know I have three children, it’s difficult keeping up. Are you sure it is the children? were you tidy as a single woman? Have you not seen a woman with five children with a house as spotless as a hospital? You passed the exams because you have no children or responsibility.’I have three children and there is no time to study’, do you know I have an aunt that is a Professor with four children? Before the children did you ever pass an exams? do you know that you can wake up at night and study? do you know that you can stay back after the lectures and study for 30 mins? have you forgotten that when your baby sleeps you watch the television instead of reading? The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse.

Ibrahim!!! you should actually stop hitting your wife, ‘she provokes me always’ what! Is dat an excuse? do you know you can walk away? do you know that you can control yourself? it is called ‘self control’, do you know you can make peace with yourself? Uyai, you are so beautiful, when I was single, I was really beautiful. I made my hair every fortnight, but now there is no time. So that is why you look like a mad woman? Do you know that there are hair styles that can be worn for a month? what is wrong with your natural hair? do you know you can shampoo it, straighten it and look like a queen? maybe you need to be familiar with the phrase ‘house service’. When I was in school, I would borrow text books at the beginning of the semester, read through the chapters and make notes. When the results are pasted, Brenda will always say,’you are ‘brainy’ that is the reason for your success’. She forgot I borrowed her books, and that those books were meant to be read?

Do you know that excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure? do you also know no one ever excused his way to success? Success is a tale of obstacles overcome, and for every obstacle overcome, an excuse not used. You can make excuses or you can get the job done, but you can’t do both. A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. People spend too much time finding people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past and getting on with their lives. Remember there is always a way to overcome any hurdle.

Stella Damasus’s Thought-Provoking Question for You and I

Stella DamasusNollywood actress Stella Damasus has just stirred the public with her thought provoking question.

She asked, ‘A faithful Christian wife who knows that her husband is very unfaithful, decides to put a pack of condoms in her husband’s suitcase. She claims that it was to protect her health. The woman also says that she was raised never to leave her marriage no matter what and so since he will not stop cheating, she has to find a way to deal with it, as she has tried everything else. As a woman would you do that? And as a man, would you advice that?’ take a look at some thoughts

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‘I will show him’ Revenge Kills Relationships

(_)•̸•̸churchill•̸•̸Some wives decide that when nagging, attempts to control, criticizing, lecturing, demanding, negativity, disrespect, etc… don’t work – that it is time to resort to punishing their husbands in order for the wives to get their way about an issue. Some punishments I have seen wives use include:

  • withholding sex
  • withholding affection
  • withholding attention (cold shoulder treatment)
  • refusing to cooperate with anything their husbands want to do
  • poisoning the children against their dad
  • withholding all respect
  • withholding praise
  • withholding any encouragement or admiration
  • being very negative, harsh, critical, cold, hateful, and mean
  • doing something to try to hurt her husband and make him as miserable as possible(Of course, sometimes husbands resort to similar tactics that are equally destructive, as well.)

Continue reading “‘I will show him’ Revenge Kills Relationships”

a one sided love story

M(y)@_--M(y)_3Anti Ice: Zee, i can hear it from your voice that you have been crying, always remember that in any situation you find yourself, there is hope for tomorrow Continue reading “a one sided love story”

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